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Satire
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THE HISTORY OF FASHION
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We welcome your response.
Thank You
grantworld@earthlink.net
He has made a fortune! ... Who? ... Harry ... Harry who? ...
Harry Hornstein.
He invented, the "slit"! You know, the slit in all the girl's skirts
you see today. That's Harry!
I tried to go one better and took a scissors to my shorts and cut 4 slits. Not
only did I not get a taker ... I ruined my shorts when they shredded in the washing
machine. Now take the Guccis. They sit around all day in a Salvador Dali designed
conference room and discuss what item they should stick their label on and build
another fortune. It's THAT easy. So what am I doing wrong? Why do we follow
in their footsteps? What is it about their name that leads us down their paths
to their cash registers ... Where we pour big dollars after big dollars for a
T-shirt that could have said Calvin Clown instead of Calvin Klein for 90 percent
less? Is this madness or is it lunacy? Here let me save you $120.00. I've got
a sweater that says Pierre Cartoon instead of Pierre Cardin and I can still give
you 30 percent off. What kind of math teacher did we have who let us be dazzled
and frazzled by monstrous mark ups that defy the laws of gravity? What kind of
biology teachers did we have who let us be out-maneuvered by designer deities
who tell us unless we have Bill Blass underwear which by the way is never seen
by the naked eye ... We will bear the shame of maladjusted misfits? Hark you
harkless wimps. It's time to fight back! My underwear says Bill Blasé
and I don't give a damn! Wouldn't it feel good to wear a Diane von Wurst un Burger
cardigan to your next charity ball and say you gave the expensive stuff to charity
and then some penniless person in desperate need is walking around wearing the
real thing? Don't you care that the Chanel cologne you purchased has no physical
evidence that you paid thru the nose to smell thru the nose and nobody knows?
It's time to unite all you designer addicts! Just sign our anti-designer dependency
document and you will be taking your first practical step to fragrance freedom.
Don't be weak and don't spray yourself before you sign. We don't want the undecided
among us to get edgy. After all what's in a name ... or haven't you been called
names before? Just suppose the real names were Yves St. Lipshitz ... or Bob
Tacky ... or Gucci Cucci ... or Versaucy ... or Christian Derriere ... or Oleg
Kiss a Knee ... or Tommy Hellfigure! Let's be honest ... When you go to the beach,
do you look at what's on the bathing suit or what's in the bathing suit? When
you step out of a Reebok sneaker, don't your feet smell the same as everybody
else's'? When you put on Valentino eyeglasses, don't you see that you didn't
read the price tag? When you hit a Palmer golf ball into the nearest lake ...
kiss your balls goodbye! When you bought your Donna Karan jeans and the girl
next door gets all the whistle calls with her cheap torn jeans .. are you not
PO'd (and that's not the label). A friend of mine snuck up on these designers
to see what they were wearing ... Who is Mills ... Burlington Mills? Early cave
dwellers are laughing at us. They never had names stuck on their loin cloths.
If they did, it would have been Rhino ... Dino and Lion-o. Why are we fascinated
by names? Why don't we just go out and buy some labels with names on them? I'm
sure Heinz ... Smuckers and Eveready are available. Stick them on your evening
gown and proudly show them off. Just remember, Lagerfeld ... you can't afford!
K-Mart we have seen the 'blue light' of day.
Take me to your specials ...
