- MORE HISTORY LESSONS FOR THE ADVANCED STUDENTS -

TERROR AT LARGE  

OKAY LET'S START WITH TV REALITY SHOWS.
THEY SCARE THE HELL OUT OF ME!
THEY SHOW NO MERCY ON THE TV PUBLIC.
WHO CAN FORGET THE CHINESE APPRENTICE WHO TOOK HER SKIRT
OFF ON BROADWAY IN ORDER TO SELL CANDY BARS ON THE TRUMP STUMP.
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THEN THERE WAS THERESA HEINZ KERRY ON THE CAMPAIGN TRAIL.
SHE ACTUALLY THOUGHT SHE WAS RUNNING FOR PRESIDENT.
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THEN THERE IS SCOTT RITTER...THE FORMER U.N. INSPECTOR WHO WAS
SENT TO BAGHDAD TO DISCOVER HOW MANY TRICKS SADDAM HUSSEIN HAS ON HIDING WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION FROM SCOTT RITTER...AND TO THIS DAY SCOTT HASN'T FIGURED OUT SADDAM HOUDINI'S SLEIGHT OF HAND DEXTERITY.
  THAT'S SCARY, SCOTT.
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HERE’S A BEAUTY…THE FLORIDA VOTING COMMITTEE IN CHARGE OF
VOTING FOR A LEADER FOR FLORIDA.  DON’T TELL ME THEY’RE NOT SCARY ??
FORTUNATELY FOR US, WE DON’T FOLLOW THE LEADER, 
OR THAT WOULD LEAD TO REAL CHAOS.
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WHAT ABOUT THE KILLER SOPRANOS???  BY THE LOOKS OF THE NUMBER OF FANS FOLLOWING THAT KILLING FIELD.  IT LOOKS LIKE THEY HAVE BECOME AMERICA'S MOST POPULAR NEIGHBORS.  HOW SCARY IS THAT??  A SOUTHERN FAMILY THREW THEMSELVES OFF THE TALLAHATCHEE BRIDGE WHEN THEY HEARD THAT NUNGIO HURT HIS ELBOW WHEN HE TRIPPED OVER TWO BODIES HE JUST BUTCHERED.
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CORPORATE CEO IS BUILDING A $50,000,000 MONUMENT IN BOCA RATON TO SHOW YOU HOW TO PUSH EXCESS TO THE MAX.  YOU WILL BE ABLE TO DRIVE BY AT ANY TIME AND SEE YOUR SAVINGS TURNED INTO A CORPORATE CASTLE...SCARY ISN'T IT??    
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MARTHA STEWART...ALL THE TIME WE THOUGHT SHE WAS PLANTING MAGNOLIAS, SHE WAS PLANTING MONEY.  IS SHE GOING FROM SELL TO CELL???
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RING AROUND THE COLLAR!  WELL, YOU KNOW WHAT THAT RING IS ALL ABOUT...
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BRITTANY SPEARS AND HER PLUNGING NECKLINE. 
BRITTANY…WE CAN’T HANDLE ANY MORE!  
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HILLARY HAS LANDED ON PEOPLE MAGAZINE'S 'WORST DRESSED' LIST...
THESE ARE FRIGHTENING TIMES FOLKS.
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MANY PEOPLE HAVE OVERCOME THEIR FEAR OF FLYING,
 BUT NOT THEIR  FEAR OF AIRPORTS...    
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YES, THERE'S ENOUGH TERROR OUT THERE TO GO AROUND FOR ALL OF US. 
SO STOCK UP ON THE NO-DOZE AND BEWARE OF LITTLE KIDS CARRYING
POPCORN BAGS.