WHICH CAME FIRST 

This is the question that has plagued mankind for centuries.

Until Harvey!

Harvey Benedict of the Eggs Benedict Family.

Harvey was experimenting with eggs…scrambling them…poaching them…basting them…sunny side up…sunny side down (that never caught on)…right up to eggs benedict!

If it wasn’t for Harvey, we never would have known that if you put an egg in boiling water, it changes form in minutes.

Now you can say someone ‘egged’ him on…but until that person comes forward, we’ll stick with Harvey.

For all you skeptics out there…those who insist it all started with the movie, “Aw Sweet Mystery Of LIFE”, I say ‘Egghead’ you can’t have it both ways.

Remember those of you who experimented with ‘sunny side down’ still have egg on your face. Let’s face it…Harvey is responsible for the theory of life on the planet!

Of course, there is a strong theory that it all started with the ”Big Bang”!

Who banged who?

That might have been pure eggstacy, however it turned out to be pure bunk!

Then there are those revisionists who think it has something to do with the Heimlich Maneuver. But it was soon learned that the Heimlich Maneuver was designed to save lives...not create life.

Early cave people you say?  They had a language all their own. They would grunt and groan, and to this day Sly Stallone can't even explain it!

The Egyptians left us with Hieroglyphics. Many historians thought they were trying to tell us something. But again, all it revealed was that they were the first to introduce graffiti!

Scientists as far back as Dr. Seuss, who gave the world disposable diapers, recognized there was an enormous ‘baby boom’ looming on the horizon. He cashed in early. His slogan was “Procreation is good for the Nation”.  Nonsense! It was good for him because there was big bucks in diapers.

Well let’s continue to explore the origin of life and the origin of eggs.

All efforts to exploit the significance of life made us suspicious of anyone who used the word in their vocabulary.   Some of Harvey's startling observations:

“Life is just a bowl of cherries.”  We gave this one a thorough going over, and we are happy to report there is no connection to life and a bowl of cherries, unless you were delivered by Mother Butler in the form of a cherry pie.

“Life Savers”…someone punched a hole in this one!

“Life Sentence”…I don’t think we’ll find any clues here.  Since not too many wanted to participate in this one.

“Life Expectancy”…We’re not sure about this as well.  However, some of you may hang around ‘till Steve Forbes gets a flat tax or gets flat broke.

“Life Raft”…they may have determined whether you sink or swim.   But they had nothing to do with how you got here. 

Back to Harvey. Harvey Benedict. 

The more you grope for the answer of chicken or egg…life or death…Harvey rises to the occasion. Harvey almost went unnoticed but for the hard boiled egg. Since they didn’t have Press Agents in those days, his work was unheralded for some time.

“Life of the party”…Harvey again. He always did cute tricks with his close-up magic and playful surgery that kept everybody in ‘stitches’.

“Life after Death”…Well now if you happen to be a ‘Dead Man Walking’…we want to hear from you immediately, because this theory deserves a little more attention.

However, until some hard boiled evidence appears, History will show that it was Harvey who started the ball rolling!

So send your generous donations to the “Harvey Life Support Systems”  c/o the author of this report, and you will receive your very own certificate of validation within 6 weeks.

In the meantime…L’CHAIM!!!

                                                                                                                                                                                                   

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